Terrible Movie Summaries

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Streaming Movie-

I'm back with another installment of a semi-regularly feature, very semi, here at Dell on Movies. For those unfamiliar, it's where I try to sum up the plots of a gaggle of movies in one sentence each. As always, you might get a laugh or two, but good taste isn't promised.

Atomic Blonde - Skyfall, but with a really violent vagina and no gadgets for it to play with.

Blended - A white couple falls in love while enjoying the finest minstrel show in Africa.

Going in Style - Senior citizens struggle to supplement their fixed incomes.

A Good Day to Die Hard - The dude from Die Hard plays Die Hard in Russia.

Hotel Transylvania 2 - A bigot struggles to comes to grips with his daughter's interracial marriage.

The Lego Batman Movie - A troubled couple reach a crossroads in their relationship.

London Has Fallen - The dude from 300, minus the six-pack plays Die Hard in London.

A Nightmare on Elm Street - A group of teens fight to survive a rare but fatal sleeping disorder.

Olympus Has Fallen - The dude from 300, minus the six-pack, plays Die Hard in the White House.

Passenger 57 - A black man implores others to always bet on him as he plays Die Hard on a plane.

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Raiders of the Lost Ark - An archaeologist takes credit for defeating Nazis despite not actually mattering in their fate.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - A terrorist organization recruits a young woman for a suicide mission.

Skyscraper - A woman with really big boobs and small clothing plays Die Hard, after sex and a shower.

Speed - A non-emoting cop and a bland brunette play Die Hard on a bus while taking pop-quizzes.

Spider-Man Homecoming - a reckless teenager sticks his nose in grown folks' business.

Star Trek Beyond - Authorities spare no expense chasing down a militant black man.

Suicide Squad - A group of assassins are hired to kill a woman because of her personality disorder.

Under Siege - A chef with a ponytail plays Die Hard on a boat.

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory - Bored with boats, the chef with a ponytail adopts a black sidekick and plays Die Hard on a train.

White House Down - Magic Mike, still with the six-pack, plays Die Hard in the White House (sounds familiar, huh).