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Merry Christmas, everyone!!!
Let us perv.
Mob City really came close to killing me this week (livetweet).
Seriously, girls you need to see Mob City. He is either in a suit or in a coat. He carries big guns. He smokes. He protects women. He is interrogating people. It's almost as porny as The Punisher, all that is fixing garbage disposals.
He hasn't shushed anyone yet which may be the only reason why I'm still alive. I have one episode left. God one knows what happens there.
I watched Show me a Hero. I was going to anyways since Jon is in it, but since Oscar Isaac saved me from slipping into a coma during The Last Jedi I owed him. Livetweet highlights:
Yeah. Cause this is what lawyers look like. Sure. God if they did I'd be so happy to go to work.
I really liked the show. I had no idea what it was about but it was very entertaining to watch. The cast was great and Isaac's performance was very good, no wonder he won Golden Globe for it. Boo wasn't in it enough but when he was on the screen...oh!
Would you look how cute?!
What kind of Clark Kent-superhot-cosplay bullshit is happening here?!
I'm sorry I'm back to my initial assessment on how he broke that nose 14 times. That story that it happened when he was boxing or playing football? No, sir. I don't believe you.
Run.
Jump.
Right on that face.
...
......
........
So anyways....
I also watched Snitch. Well, most of Snitch anyways. I have so little time in the evenings and I have to go to bed early (I wake up at 5 AM) so I basically watch movies in parts. Also one has to watch stuff with Jon carefully. He will literally bang your brains out with his hotness.
Case and point - me.
Oh man...
The entire week I was working like crazy. There was actually even more work this week than before. Here are my tweets that capture the nightmare - 1,2
Still managed to look OK-ish and even did my hair today. That's my new dress there. I have 16 days off now so hopefully amidst all the perving I will have time to organize my closet. I literally kept wearing new things I bought that arrived this week because I have no idea how to find anything in that mess.
Anyways, this week, every day after I finally had time to go pee and make coffee I checked twitter. And one day I saw this - 1,2,3
BAM! All focus gone for the rest of the day.
I've been grateful for the fact this was an extremely busy month. It's Christmas and I'm so lonely. I wasn't this lonely last year, or the one before. I had my friend with me and now he is gone. You know I can't even write these things without completely unraveling....let's just look at a handsome man being shirtless:
Last week I forgot to link that car sex scene from The Walking Dead. Well, the beginning of the sex scene, because AMC didn't show more. These godless heathens. Rick walking around like an asshole for long periods of time, that they show. But this they don't?!
Oh fuck you, Rick, you killed boo boo.
I have to ask - what the hell is going on with so many girls freaking out about that scene where Kylo Ren was shirtless?! His pants were up to his tits! What was that all about?! He looked like one of those dudes from dance groups in the 80's. I thought he was about to do a routine to death metal cover of Dancing Queen.
Also we just saw shirtless Savage boo in Justice League and shirtless Punishing boo in The Punisher. That was the God-tier of shirtlessness. You should be still thinking about that.
For shame, girls!
And this is just ungodly.
So here I was waiting for Hardy in The Last Jedi and it turns out his scene was cut. Every day a new awful thing Rian Johnson has done resurfaces.
1,2 I think Carrie was lucky. She went first, not him. I envy that.
J.J. Abrams gonna be like.
Look at how Kennedy cuts Hamill off. Also this. It's just saddening to watch.
Why are they wasting Oscar Isaac's face like that?!
Yes, speaking of....
So there I was during The Last Jedi forced to make a call. I either slip into a coma and never wake up OR I stare intensely at this man coming up with elaborate ways to bang him in Star Wars universe, knowing full well it has 99% chance of leading to me to spend most of my Christmas break on watching movies with him and horrifying all you poor people with tweets and RF's content.
Yep, this is exactly what happened.
I think it was few days ago when it hit me. I was looking for the gif of him delivering that ignite the fire line, which was honest to God one of the finest line deliveries in last few years. In my head I went God, sir, you ignite MY fire.
Instantly, I swiveled away on my chair from computer.
I looked all around me in panic.
And I just went:
oh, no.

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In my defense...holy fuck that's a good looking man.

Seriously, I keep trying to type about him but I keep fainting.

Oh no. He is LEGIT.

And he has such long....eyelashes. Eyelashes, you perverts.

Not even this...:

....calms my ovaries down.

I know it's gonna sound impossible but I did not write parts about Poe here.

I am about to watch In Secret. Yet again, I fell through the hole.

This is such cringe. You know what this reminds me of? That episode of South Park where these anti-smoking kids performed in school and horrified the kids that they will be like them if they don't smoke so the next scene was a cut to the main four smoking. The 'yeah, we did it!' moment at the end there is exactly the same. I really cannot go see this movie. Looking at all this cutesy stuff would seriously kill me.

So has Bondi beach been declared the most important place in Australia yet? Because by now it really should have been.

I watched Logan Lucky this week because I was in the mood for something light and amusing and that is exactly what I've got. I had no idea if these accents were awful or awesome all I know is that I absolutely loved listening to all those actors. I know you crazies need it so here is the gif of your Kylo:

Driver was really hilarious in that movie. Straight up the funniest scene was the way he ended up in jail, it was so well shot and acted. It's such a short and simple scene but it was so funny. Craig was also terrific and it was awesome seeing him being so different to his James Bond mode. The film was extremely well cast and just a delight. And I love David Holmes' music so the score as well as the selection of songs was so cool. Can't recommend it enough. Very pleasant movie.

Also that one song was in Kingsman 2, Trashfire: Covenant and Logan Lucky. What the hell?!

Ocean's 8 trailer. Well, there is lots to talk about here. First of all as usual men have problems. And as usual they are loud about it. And as usual it's very serious stuff. Just look at the comment section on youtube. Yes, how dare they make a movie in Hollywood with women for women to enjoy? How dare they do a spin-off to a movie with practically all male cast (and that movie is not even some great cinematic classic)?

How dare us bitches want any joy, huh?

Oh gosh. First we don't want to be harassed, assaulted and raped, and now Hollywood is making movies for us to enjoy. Are we fucking crazy? Have we lost our minds? We make life so difficult for all those poor men. Gosh darn it, they are gonna see this trailer when they go see the movies. 120 seconds of this. The horror! The dread!

Will the poor things survive?

Or will their dicks fall off?

If they will I can't imagine these "men" would notice, it's not like something so small hitting the floor could actually make a sound.

The amount of bitching I saw from all these assholes. Like, why do you care? And more importantly - how do you not have enough fucking shame or sense to just shut your goddamn mouth but instead you just have to go insulting women in the movie, women in the audience, women everywhere? I really wish every single keyboard had some sort of a paddle that could just jump out of it and whack these morons right in the dick every single time they write misogynistic bullshit online.

SHUT THE FUCK UP. There are more of us than there are of you. And we don't care what you think.

Second of all, I'm torn here. On one hand I wanna support movies like this and I should go see it. On another I read Matt Damon has cameo in it and I ain't paying for anything containing that piece of shit in it.

But if they remove his cameo I will absolutely see it for Richard Armitage and Cate Blanchett's outfits alone.

There is already a petition to do just that so please sign it. Let's end this motherfucker.

I cannot fucking believe he is STILL TALKING. I will literally punch my TV the next time this asshole's face happens to be there when I am flipping through channels. Is he ill? is he drunk? Is he retarded? Was he burying a hooker on a desert with Affleck and she woke up and hit him with a shovel and he is having a concussion?

We don't even need to look hard for the female equivalent of Damon. Behold the recent antics of Winslet.

Jessica Chastain's expression was the best. Honestly I have came to really like her recently. She is doing things I'd be doing if I were in her place.

Ah, Meryl. You hypocrite. I must have imagined her standing up and applauding Polanski. Nope. It happened. Take Winslet with you and shut up.

This is what SAG is doing to honor the ladies. Hopefully the Globes will do something too. I think it's in poor taste they are having a guy host it, though.

Sam Rockwell is hosting SNL on January 13th! This is gonna be fantastic.

Look at the responses this clown is getting.

I HAVE to see Statham punch that shark now.

And finally again, Merry Christmas to all of you. May it be filled with love and companionship, may you spend it with your friends, families and pets. May the Santa bring you all the gifts you want. I'll just be here. Tweeting inappropriately. Having as merry of a time as I can have.