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***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion (or other commenters), that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching! Up next, medium and large soldiers.
Small Soldiers – 4 out of 5
I’ve only seen this movie once in my life—and my family actually owned the damn thing on VHS. Despite being a fan of the director and loving some of his other films, Small Soldiers just didn’t speak to me when I saw it. For some reason, I was reminded of it and decided to give the feature another chance—almost twenty years later. Having basically viewed it with fresh eyes, I have to say that I was wrong when I was just a late teen and I really enjoyed this film.
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You're pretty much guaranteed a good movie when you see that Dick
Miller is in it. |
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| They look so young. They're basically babies here! |
In an effort to get the approval of their new boss (played by Denis Leary being 90s Denis Leary), Irwin (David Cross) and Larry (Jay Mohr) promise to have state-of-the-art action figures to deliver to market. To cut corners, Larry gets his hands on experimental microchips from the government and uses them on the toys. The son of a small toy shop owner; Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith), gets his hands on these toys: The Commando Elites (voiced by the original cast of The Dirty Dozen: George Kennedy, Ernest Borgnine, Jim Brown and Clint Walker, along with Bruce Dern), led by Chip Hazard (Tommy Lee Jones) and their sworn enemies; The Gorgonites (voiced by the original cast of This Is Spinal Tap: Michael McKean, Harry Shearer and Christopher Guest, along with Jim Cummings) and their leader Archer (Frank Langella). It’s soon learned that the chips in the toys have the capacity to learn and Chip Hazard and his men decide to stop at nothing to destroy the Gorgonites. Now Alan, his friend Christy (Kirsten Dunst) and their families are caught in the crossfire.
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| And, of course, they find love...or like-liking each other. |
I’m not sure why I didn’t care for this film when I first saw. I don’t remember hating it; I just remember it not leaving an impact on me. Revisiting it, though, I see a movie that has great usage of special and practical effects, some killer voice acting work, a surprisingly great soundtrack, good performances, and some amusing moments. I won’t go as far to say that I found this film to be hilarious but there are definitely some humorous sequences.
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| Hmmm, I don't remember Bill Hicks ever playing a role like this... |
Ignoring the fact that this movie is a prime example of how movie science is out of touch with real science (it’s fun to snicker at these things but ultimately pointless to smugly whine about the lack of realism) the film shines brightly with how director Joe Dante handles the way the Commando Elites rise up and start a war with the human characters protecting the Gorgonites. Dante is no stranger to movies that involve small creatures terrorizing human beings (Gremlins and its much underappreciated satirical sequel) nor is he a stranger to dark comedies (another underappreciated gem; The ‘Burbs) and he really makes this dynamic work. Yes, the Commandos aren’t a legitimate threat but they are a fun one. It’s already cool that the voice actors used are reunions of The Dirty Dozen (and Spinal Tap in the case of the Gorgonites) but the design department really did a bang up job mocking up and crafting their weapons of war that the toys create in order to get through the human shields and get to the Gorgonites. It’s kinda fun picking out the everyday household items they used to make their vehicles and weapons and, ultimately, sells the reality that these bits of plastic that you could realistically just step on and snap in half are things that could actually be somewhat of a threat.
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| Yeah, I'd buy the hell out of some Gorgonites and Commandos figures. |
One thing I really liked about this film is how it marries practical and computer effects. I’m not one of those toxic nostalgia dudes that want all effects now to be practical because that’s how it was in my formative years. I actually like both practical and CG effects. The only time I have a problem with either is when they are done poorly—imagine that! Small Soldiers does a terrific job of having these little animatronic toys for many scenes and, when moments are required that are beyond what the little robots can do, primitive 90s era computer animation is used and it works fairly seamlessly. Granted, the computer effects aren’t as detailed or as developed as we have it now but it works and was very effective in making the toys feel like actual characters in the film and not just props on the set.
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The one that picked out the sickle is going places. He likes to add style
to his weapons of harm. |
The only real downside I have for the film is the human players aren’t nearly as memorable as the toy characters—which kinda stinks because this movie has Phil Hartman in it and the man was a treasure that we lost way too soon.
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| The dude was just hysterical. |
None of the cast are essentially bad—even Denis Leary, who is basically playing his stand-up “I’m an asshole” character, isn’t that hard to deal with. Kirsten Dunst and Gregory Smith are decent as the two kids who fall into this mess and end up like-liking each other and the parents of both of them are fun and have their moments. Additionally, David Cross and Jay Mohr have some fun sequences together and play off of one another very well. The problem is that the voice acting cast and the little soldiers and Gorgonites just steal the show and it’s hard to compete with them.
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| "Check every hen house, outhouse, and Barbie Dreamhouse..." |
I’m pretty glad I decided to give Small Soldiers another shot because it’s just another example of the great work that Joe Dante has been a part of. Is it going to be something that I love as much as some of his other work? Probably not but I still found a film that was very fun and entertaining and one I think I didn’t give a fair shot to ago when I was a dumb teenager on the verge of graduating high school. Now I’m just a dumb adult in his mid-30s.
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