(323) Adorable! Amazing! YES! + links

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The world is much more beautiful this week than it was last week.
But before we get to that...
This is gonna be shorter RF because yesterday my phone shat itself so I needed to go and buy a new one today. Man, those things are expensive! I mean I do have the money but that cost me as much as four dresses. I don't think in terms of currency I always think of how many dresses something is the equivalent of. Here's my newest one.
My new phone has a better camera so those pictures are going to be better quality and thus more horrific.
The guy in the store asked me what I do with my phone to determine which one is a good model for me. I was like...well, I use it as an alarm clock, I take selfies and I tweet garbage.
And back in Hollywood...
During Women's March on Saturday Scarlett Johansson thought it was a good idea to call out James Franco. The same Scarlett Johansson who had this to say.
New featurette from Annihilation. It sucks so bad that most people can't see this on the big screen.
First picture from next Mission Impossible with Tom Cruise looking like he is about to take a shit. IN THE SKY.
Vanity Fair annual photoshoot....why is most of these people there? Also what a mess - 1,2
They actually removed Franco from it.
PGA awarded The Shape of Water over Three Billboards and I hate PGA so much right now.
JLaw, Aronofsky and Bardem all got Razzie nominations for mother!. Bardem was shit and totally deserves it but come on, if anything Lawrence made it watchable and Aronofsky's job as a director was good.
Oh, Darren.
THR roundtables are being uploaded every Sunday and the upcoming one has Sam in it. So we all know what me and Mettel are going to be watching on repeat.
I went to bed on Sunday and all of you who live in civilized countries and/or didn't need to work the next day were watching SAG so my phone was exploding with notifications (aww you guys!:*). I of course saw all the important footage that I had to at 5 AM after I dragged my tired ass out of bed to start another hellish week (God, I fucking hate this week) but then saw the entire ceremony after work.
Oh Lord. They were interviewing Sam and his girlfriend Leslie on the red carpet (it's such an adorable interview!) and since they've been together for 11 years the reporter asked what's their secret. Sam was all classy and said "communication" and Leslie said "good sex". That woman is my role model.
11 years.
That must be seriously good sex.
....
........
*pause for me and Mettel to think about that for a bit*
*go to our kitchens*
*take a glass*
*fill it with water*
*put a shitload of ice cubes in it*
*and just fucking splash it on our faces so that we CALM DOWN for a second*
*spoiler alert - it ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT work*
*just look at that comment section*
I don't know what happened to Mettel when she heard Leslie say that thing but that was on Monday and she got extended sick leave that day so....:)
I just kept giggling whenever I remembered it.
Like legit, giggling.
The entire Monday.
I need you guys to LOCK ME IN A CAGE.
(livetweet of the ceremony)
Super odd thing happened when they were showing clips from Three Billboards because for Woody and Sam they showed scenes that weren't in the movie. What? Did this ever happened before? Woody didn't seem to notice his scene wasn't in the movie while Sam reacted adorably:
This is glorious.
Jenkins didn't even pay attention and grabbed a drink. Carell was just dead inside. Woody was in his own world. And Dafoe was like "fuck you all I was supposed to be winning". He legit looked like he was already planning his revenge.
Seriously Dafoe didn't even applaud Sam. Wow.
He brought a piece of paper with him on stage again and just smacked it on the table. It's adorable that this is clearly someone who doesn't have much experience with awards because the fuckers kept snubbing him for the last 20 years. Also the part of the speech about women!
Mettel figured it out - because unlike mine, her brain still works - he probably brings the paper this big because he doesn't want to wear glasses on stage. I was like oh my God yes, it's in font 72!. We kinda got confirmation when Sam was wearing glasses and presenting Three Billboards and still barely managed to read what was on teleprompter. Which was adorable.
Oh my God....please tell me someone is holding this guy's hand and helping him at all times.
Adorable!
Only women had questions. And he didn't correct "wife" remark. And he needed glasses. It's all adorable.
(how many times have I used the word "adorable" already?)
Also when he won Leslie just kept hitting his arm.
What is she going to do to him when he wins that Oscar?
Tear his clothes off?
*hold on, we need another glass of water*
....
.......
..........
So anyways...
On Monday it was Academy Awards nominations! Obviously the fact Rockwell is finally nominated makes it amazing. I cannot remember the last time someone I was rooting for actually had a real shot at winning. I cannot wait for the ceremony! Let's start praying I find a decent livestream otherwise I will just explode/
Academy Award Nominee!
This is in reference to Golden Globes but I will use it here (also my gifs because obviously):
Sam slept through it. That too was...
*say it with me*
...ADORABLE.
But seriously, Franco...And they replaced him with Denzel. Gyllenhaal is just one step away from eating raw bison liver and sleeping in horse carcass like DiCaprio. Hanks hasn't been nominated for nearly two decades. They saw Logan since they nominated it in Adapted Screenplay so they could have nominated Jackman.
But nope.
Denzel.
Also Gerwig got in, naturally, since they were all afraid of what Natalie Portman is going to do to them if they "snub" her. If you had to nominate a woman, Patty Jenkins did a much better job. And really? Nothing for Wonder Woman? Not even costumes nomination?
Molly's Game is also nominated in Adapted Screenplay. A movie containing that scene on the park bench is, according to them, worthy of a screenplay nomination.
Thirteen nominations for The Shape of Water. Thirteen. Bad enough Del Toro is winning over Nolan so at least give BP win to Three Billboards. Octavia Spencer now has three nominations including one win for playing sassy friend to a protagonist character. Also the one thing that movie deserved was make up nomination and it didn't get that. Did they think it was VFX?
That nominations presentation was embarrassing to watch. I know Tiffany Haddish made this one movie people like, apparently, so God forbid anyone criticizes her but that was utterly cringe worthy and disrespectful to the nominees. Some of these people have been nominated for the first time in their lives and she cannot even pronounce their names right? Absolutely awful.
Casey Affleck is not going to present at the Oscars.
So I saw The Post. It's utterly boring and probably even more forgettable than Bridge of Spies and Hanks has even less to do here. The Best Picture nomination and nomination for Streep for this is laughable. Streep is now heading to Big Little Lies so now the Emmys will be difficult to watch too with everyone standing up at her name being randomly said. God I'm so tired of that woman and all the undeserved accolades she has been getting lately. And between her and Witherspoon that is too much overrated and overexposed to endure so no to season 2 from me. I barely sat through the first one.
I will come for all of them, I swear to God. How fucking dare you. On a sacred week like that.
Number 17. Oh, man.
Good God.
Is "lasso kink" a thing because I may have it.
On Saturday I saw three Sam movies. And lord help us all I livetweeted all of them.
I rewatched Iron Man 2:
I am VERY proud of that lap tweet.
Then I saw Mr. Right. That was Max Landis' script. And even here Sam managed to be amazing. He danced, he ate green gummy bears, he killed people. So hot.
and then I watched Welcome to Collinwood.That was a very nice movie! It was funny, Clooney had hilarious cameo and overall it was very entertaining. We are barely alive, by the way.
My God.
I am gifing porn at 3 AM.
That movie is from 2002. These are my gifs - because I hate myself - WtC on the left, Laggies the on right:
HE HAS BEEN DOING THAT FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG.
On Sunday I watched Snow Angels. That was so much misery! And for very little purpose. Sam was amazing, though.
I'm just gonna end on Isaac note to finish you off.
People warned me for months. They were like "don't watch Suburbicon. Just fast forward to Oscar's scenes". But I didn't listen. I was like "no! I shall suffer for love!".
And suffer I did.
Oh my God. This is now the second movie featuring angelic baby boo that I have no idea what the plot was about (another one is Mojave). It was just awful. The cinematography was nice and two scenes with Oscar in it (HE WAS IN ONLY TWO SCENES) were terrific because of his efforts but that's it. What a waste of my time. Well, my time is not valuable but Oscar's is so how dare you Clooney.
It also reeked through the screen of his petty jealousy. Clooney is past his prime, he cannot direct well anymore and he is lying through his teeth like a coward when talking about Weinstein. And then he has this dashing, lovely, young, talented and ridiculously handsome actor in his film and he only uses him in two scenes and has Trash Damon wreck his face.
I see what you did, Clooney.
I see you, bitch.
(yes, I know you gave Sam his big break but there is no excuse for Trash Damon hitting baby boo with a pipe or whatever the fuck)
Still, look at baby boo:
"hanky-panky", Jesus Christ.
Also WOW. That face.
These are also my gifs. Am I suicidal?
*shouts it with me* ADORABLE!
*whisper it with me* schlong
MettelRay fangirls over Sam gloriously. My young disciple I am so proud!
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