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What the hell is going on? Another Rev. Ron Reality just a week after I posted my last one? This is very rare for me. Normally months and months would go by before something about a movie would inspire me to write a Reality but lightning struck twice and another horror-based film I reviewed has got my creative liquids a bubblin’ and I am here with another story.
For new readers, Rev. Ron’s Realities are short stories I create that exist in the world of the movies I have reviewed. The basic concept is that, as I watch these movies, little things will grab my attention and I’ll desire to see something more come from these items. For example, there may be an extra in the background that did something that caught my eye or there’s a small plot point I would like to see expanded on or embellished or I just want to make a completely new scenario that takes place in the film’s universe. I take these ideas and write a little goofball story.
Today’s story exists in the world of the stand-alone sequel in The Ring franchise, creatively called Rings. You can read my review here. In the film, a college professor gets his hands on the cursed tape and decides to run an experiment with his students. The idea is he has one watch the tape, record themselves watching it, and then a new student (nicknamed a “tail”) is located to then inherit the curse as the first student gets this person to watch. It’s a dumb experiment but the thing that struck me was how the franchise didn’t evolve its media and is still using a VHS tape as their catalyst. I’m not a nostalgic guy (and it mystifies me why some people are for VHS tapes) but I would imagine that combining an obsolete, low quality piece of media and the idea that experiencing it runs the risk of death in seven days, would result in a situation where finding a tail would almost be impossible.
I take you now to the tale of Micah, a frantic student on his final day and in desperate search of a tail to take the curse away…
“What the fuck do you mean you can’t find a tail, Professor Gabriel?” Micah cursed into his cell phone as he ran through the campus, his sneakers splashing large puddles that accumulated on the sidewalk as the torrential downpour of rain soaked him and the entire school.
“I’m sorry,” the professor’s voice replied, “the person I had set for you backed out and I just can’t lock anyone else in. You’re going to have to find someone—anyone—on campus.”
“Fuck,” Micah cursed again as he hung up. A week ago he became the tail of a girl name Theresa. He wanted to get to know her but ended up watching some strange video that now had him cursed and he now only had two hours before he would be dead. Despair weighed him down and he stopped running, no longer caring if the rain drenched his clothing. He was practically out of options.
But maybe not, he thought as he spotted a classmate from his geology course, the man was having a cigarette outside of one of the academic buildings.
“Hey Kevin,” he yelled. “Kevin, what’s up, buddy?”
Kevin, a larger man, squinted as he tried to see into the rain and darkness of the evening. As Micah got closer, Kevin’s face softened to one of recognition, “Hey man, what’s going on? Why are you out in the rain, dude?”
“I forgot my umbrella,” Micah laughed nervously. “Hey, strange question, you doing anything right now?”
“Nah,” Kevin said as he tossed his cigarette into the disposal nearby. “I just had to meet with a professor real quick and now I’m just gonna head back to my dorm and play some Madden or something.”
“Cool, cool,” Micah replied. “Hey, I found this really cool video you should check out.”
“Yeah, is it funny or something?”
“Or something.”
“Cool,” Kevin said as he pulled out his phone, “send me the link.”
Micah hesitated, “Um…yeah. There’s no link I can send you. It’s a VHS tape.”
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| It sits on a table right next to a bottle that says "Drink Me" and a cake that says "Eat Me." |
Kevin started laughing hysterically. “You think I’m going to go and try to find a goddamn VCR to watch some stupid video? What the hell is on this thing?”
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| Remember how awful it was to have to rewind your movie after watching it. |
“It’s something very special,” Micah said ominously. “But you don’t have to find a VCR. I have a rip of it on my computer. Come on over to my dorm and I’ll show you.”
Kevin thought about it. “This seems like a lot of work to watch a dumb tape. I’d rather just go get a pizza, jerk off and fall asleep.”
“No, please,” Micah pleaded. “You gotta see this tape.”
“Do you remember the quality on those shitty things?”
“Yes but—”
“Ugh, and they were so bulky and took up so much storage space.”
“I know but—”
“And the tracking shit, remember that crap?”
“I’ll make sure the tracking is fine. Just please—”
“Dude, I had so many tapes get eaten by VCR’s. They were so lame.”
“Totally lame but I really need you to see—”
“You seriously don’t have this shit uploaded?”
Micah sighed, “No. This is a special tape. It’s cursed. They say if you watch it, you’ll die in seven days.”
Kevin went quiet and looked worried. Micah smiled internally, he thinks he finally trapped him. Play to his vanity, he thought. Challenge him and he’ll rise up to it.
It didn’t work. Kevin started laughing again as he opened his umbrella and started to walk away. “You almost had me there, man. You’re fucking crazy, amigo. Call me when you get this cursed video on Blu-ray or upload it to YouTube. Later.”
“Wait,” Micah started to call after Kevin but the man wasn’t listening. Defeated, he pulled out his phone to check and see how much time he had left. The screen started to ripple with static and the familiar image of the well from the video appeared.
“Shit.”
Well, unfortunately, things didn’t end so well for Micah. Maybe if Samara got with the times and just evolved her cursed ass to a YouTube video she’d be able to take her vengeance out on more people and on a global scale. But, no, stick with that dead format. Also, how come we didn’t hear about Micah’s death in Rings? Besides the fact I made up the character. Well, it seems that the movie was more worried about Julia and Holt to care about the plight of Micah. Jerks.
Also, you can tell when I went to college with my Maddenreference. Do kids still play Madden?
Thanks for stopping by and keep coming back to my blog for more reviews and, hopefully, more editions of Rev. Ron’s Realities!
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