(333) The poster we deserve + links

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A bird shat all over Matt Damon this week and it's the best thing that happened during last seven days.
No, no.
It's the best thing that happened in months.
A bird was literally flying over, spotted this twat and was like "nope" and shat all over him.
This is glorious.
This actually happened when Damon was vacationing in Australia, on the heels of threatening to move there. And he was lunching with Chris Hemsworth who, considering he is not a garbage person, was not pooped on.
Australia doesn't want you. Go home, asshole.
So Tye Sheridan had this to day about MCU: Something that’s getting old with those universes and all the Marvel movies is that they all look the same and they’re all doing the same thing. We really wanted to shake it up, in that sense, and take a different approach to this. Simon Kinberg, who wrote the past three X-Men, directed Dark Phoenix, and I’m super, super excited about it. I think it will turn out well and that it will be a different X-Men than we’ve ever seen before, so that’s exciting.
Yeah....

This is his new bosses over at Disney rn --->
Take that statement along with the fact there is nothing interesting about this actor and it's pretty much given he ain't reprising anything in that franchise. You don't bite Mouse's hand. Ever.
I doubt MCU is even gonna use any of the actors from the mess over at Fox. And Sheridan is one of those many young actors Hollywood is getting from indie movies or TV series and putting in big blockbusters. The problem is they are all bland and interchangeable. The kid playing Han Solo is actually one of the more charismatic ones out of those so the state of affairs is really bad.
Also yes, I am sure that the film that has now been postponed twice and the second X-Men movie to follow the masterpiece that is Logan is gonna be good and "something we never seen before".
That is as plausible as me banging Aquaman tonight. That is so totally happening.
While the bird shitting on Damon is THE event of the week here comes THE image of the week:

Captain America butt pose poster for Infinity War.
Oh my God. I was reading about Aquaman test screening reactions (that is screening number 2, this time they did it for people who aren't CBM fans and the people loved it!) and literally did this when I saw it.
I think Infinity War is gonna top The Force Awakens opening weekend numbers now. With a butt shot like that I ain't just going, I AM RUNNING to that cinema on Friday 27th.
Please don't kill him off now that I care because he has a nice beard and butt. Pretty please?
WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THE HOLE?
HE IS NOT EVEN MY TYPE
Look at this shit!
Kinky trumps blue eyes and blonde hair, always.
I'll see Brittani's sit on his face tweet from last week and I raise her this one.
AND THIS ONE.
I'm gonna watch everything now, aren't I. That fucking thing from last year where he is a single parent or something. That shit Anna Faris comedy. That thing that is a parody of stupid teenage flicks in which he is like 20 years old so I will feel not only like a pervert but also like it's time for my hip replacement surgery solely because I am now older than this dude was in that movie.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME THE BUTT SHOT, MCU MAREKETING?
WHY?
It's gonna be so fucking awkward in December when I'm still pregnant with Evans baby after watching this and Jason knocks me out through my eyes when I see Aquaman.
Meanwhile, in real life, horrific mustache thing is still happening and between that and this, it's like Chris and Tom conspire to kill off their fangirls.
And here's IMAX poster for Infinity War. Still no Hakwye. What - and to whom - did Renner do? Did he take a shit at Kevin Feige's rug that really tied the room together?
Russo brothers don't want the movie to be spoiled.
Again, as plausible as me banging Aquaman tonight.
Underwater.

While I'm waving to dolphins and such.
We need feral boo now. Here's another leaked photo from Justice League --->
How? And why?
That new Nicole Kidman/Elle Fanning looks like garbage. First The Beguiled, now this.
Tacky new poster for Sicario 2. Test screenings went so well yet Sony is determined to do whatever damage they can with this horrid marketing campaign.
We need to take a moment to take a look at what J-boo is doing to promote his new album (1,2,3). I already bough the album. He needs to shave that beard. I love beards but God Almighty this is pubes not a beard.
He is so gonna get murdered while hitchhiking.
So I continued my MCU marathon:
I finally saw Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2.Well, I am shocked because that was absolutely delightful! I didn't even mind Chris Pratt. The movie was so entertaining, it was so well done (that opening credits sequence was pure magic), and the relationships between the characters were so brilliantly portrayed. I loved Drax and Mantis and I hope he stops being mean to her and they hook up. Nebula and Gomora's story arc was so good. And of course Baby Groot! Watching him being scared or getting hurt was even worse than watching Paddington have unpleasant experiences. My God was he adorable! It's such a shame he is gonna be older in Infinity War. Is this feeling I'm feeling what parents feel when their little ones are growing up?

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Black Panther. Yep...how is it different from all the other MCU films? It ain't. They are all the same - there's origin story, there's villain, the hero wins, the end. It's not a bad thing, not everything can be Logan. The cast was great, particularly Danai Gurira. Her character was so badass and she was hilarious!

Iron Man 3....yeah: no. It was fun enough, but there was just too much forced humor. That whole thing with making Pepper super strong for final sequence was ridiculous and Guy Pearce and Rebecca Hall were given such thankless roles. Stark's narration was also so cringy and cheesy and didn't fir the movie well.

Thor: The Dark World - that gets such bad reputation and it's really not deserved. Yes, it's one of the worse MCU movies but it's still well done - the music is one of the better ones in MCU and Frigga's funeral is a gorgeous sequence. I do hate how they progressively ruined what was such a nice romance in Thor between him and Jane. I don't know why they did that. Did Portman want out? It's such a shame.

Captain America: The First Avenger - I liked the ballsy ending - I think it was the only time MCU movie ended on a sad note - but the film was so-so. I have Visual Parallels post done for this and Wonder Woman (I'll publish on Monday) and it's disappointing that there wasn't even a lot of hero shots of Cap in his outfit with his shield. But the film had plenty of heart and that scene with him throwing himself at the grenade was so moving.

Ant-Man - this is one of my favorites in MCU. The parallels between Hank and Scott doing everything they can for their daughters are so lovely. The film has so much heart, it's so charming and so quirky. And we all love Paul Rudd.

Do we need gifs of his abs?

Stupid question. OF COURSE WE DO:

oh and Paul Rudd is celebrating his 49 birthday today! FORTY NINTH!!!??

I finally watched The Crown. Yes, I watched the whole two seasons this week. I really cannot believe Gary Oldman won Oscar for his take on Churchill when John Lithgow did it so much better in that show just one year before that dull movie. He actually came off as human being and not an actor playing dress up. Claire Foy is mesmerizing as Elizabeth and no wonder the Queen herself likes the show given how they are portraying her as this very strong, fair and sympathetic person. The entire cast is stellar but the show is not making it any easier for me to find Matt Smith less creepy. The Kennedys episode was especially wonderfully written and I cannot wait for season 3.

Tonight I will watch Puncture.

Because of course I will.

and finally, for all of you to start weekend well.