Ted (4½ Stars)

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There's only one thing worse than taking a teddy bear to bed with your girlfriend. That's taking a walking, talking teddy bear to bed with your girlfriend. That would kill any hope of a sexual atmosphere, especially if it's a vulgar, foul-mouthed teddy bear like Ted. John Bennett was given the bear as a Christmas present when he was eight, and he's been his best friend ever since. I feel for him, but he should have made plans years ago. He should have found Ted a little girl-bear as a companion to sleep with in the other room. (Supposedly female bears are called sows, but somehow that doesn't sound right).

When I first saw "Ted" (the film) three years ago I was immediately entranced. There's a magic in the contrast of the appearance and the personality of the cute little bear. If you turned off the sound it would look like a children's film. The computer animation is an integral part of the film's quality. If the film had been made 30 years earlier and the bear's movements had been less smooth it wouldn't have been as enjoyable.

The film slots into our reality by featuring real-life characters like Sam Jones and Norah Jones (no relation). Sam plays a significant part in the film. Flash Gordon was John's hero as a child and an inspiration for his life. It's been eight years since I last watched the film. Maybe I should pull the DVD from my shelf and watch it again. I could become a Sam Jones fan as

well.

It must be difficult to coordinate your hands when you're playing two such different instruments as piano and saxophone at the same time. But how would I know? I can't even play one instrument!

After watching the film I spent some time using Google Maps to hunt down the houses and streets shown in the film. The streets in Boston were easy to find, the streets in other towns took a while. Afterwards I realised I could have done it much more easily. The film's IMDB page lists the exact addresses of the filming locations. So much for my ingenuity!