Polar

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Streaming Movie-***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion (or other commenters), that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching!  So far, it seems like I only enjoy Netflix's shows and not the movies they get sole distribution rights to.

Polar – 2 out of 5

I’m not sure how this opinion will go over but the more films I watch that are distributed exclusively through Netflix the more I wonder what they are thinking.  I know tastes in films are subjective but for every ten of them I watch, I’m lucky if I find one of them good.  They often feel low budget, poorly written and too often feel way too long.  Polar is another Netflix feature that goes in the “lose” pile for me.  Which is too bad because it has Mads Mikkelsen in it and I think that dude is amazing but even his said awesomeness wasn’t enough to save this movie from being extremely hard to sit through.

Pew pew!

Duncan Vizla “the Black Kaiser” (Mikkelsen) is the best assassin in the hitman game but the company he works for, the Damocles corporation, is having him retire at the mandated age of 50.  Investing wisely over his career, Duncan is set to live a nice retirement but the owner of Damocles (Matt Lucas) is preparing to sell the company and this will end up making lots of trouble for Duncan; if the assassin’s die before retirement, their pensions revert back to the company and this will make the company worth millions.  So, a hit is put out on Duncan but everyone will soon learn why he was one of the best in the business.

Yes, eye patches do look cool and they are made cooler on a hitman
because they were able to adjust to their compromised depth perception.

You would think a film about a hitman played by Mads Mikkelsen where he has to fight the company he used to kill for would be a sure-fire hit.  Even if it just came off like a John Wick wannabe, there would still be some entertainment value seeing the badass Mikkelsen eff some people up and kill with cold, calculating precision.  You would think but the end product proved to be just a mess of a film that barely had any redeeming factors for me.

Johnny Knoxville was in the film...for ten minutes.
I'm assuming he was bored.

 

Richard Dreyfuss is also in the film...like Knoxville,
I assume his presence came out of him being bored.

This movie has some redeeming qualities but the problem that killed the entire product for me is that it reeks of trying too hard to be over-the-top and eccentric.  The movie’s tone and esthetic is like watching Johnny Depp act, all eccentricities and no substance.  Even a majority of the cast comes off like they are desperate for attention and it made characters more annoying than fun or interesting.  The over-the-top quality might have been fine and may have created a fun atmosphere but it is done to such a degree that it comes off more obnoxious than entertaining and it really made for an experience that was incredibly hard for me to sit through.

Yeah...the over-the-top quality got to be a little too much too often.

The elements I did enjoy about the film are having Mikkelsen in the lead and the brutal action it provided.  Even among the inane tone this film is drenched in, the action that it provides I found to be genuinely satisfying and entertaining in its brutal nature.  Having Mikkelsen, who somehow makes coming off cold and distant charming in a strange way, is the breath of fresh air in this otherwise dismal feature.  He plays his role perfectly and stands out without having to overdo it like literally everything else in the film.

Maybe this will lead to Mikkelsen's natural badass aura being used for
a better film sometime in the future?

While there are bits and pieces that I definitely dug about Polar, I overwhelmingly had a negative experience watching the film.  With its insufferable tone, characters that were all cartoon and no depth, and a side story that involved a character who has a connection to Duncan’s past played by Vanessa Hudgens and ultimately felt like it was tacked on as it didn’t have the right development to make it interesting or engaging, Polar, unfortunately, felt like another feature just thrown out there for the purposes of content on Netflix.  I really wanted to like it because I think Mikkelsen is awesome-sauce but the film just didn’t deliver and, thanks in part to other mediocre titles, really has me second guessing if I will continue to watch anything that is distributed solely through the streaming service.

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