'I Don't Have Many Friends': My 10 Brutally Honest Reasons As To Why

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...Okay... not as in 'Friends' the TV show 


Most of the people I became friends with were during secondary school when I was 9, 10 years old - and long after we went our separate ways & we lost touch; since then, it has been a colossal struggle to form new friendships - that or rarely had time for them when I was in college, university and at work

I rarely strike up conversations... although being at work, it has given me the confidence to come out of my shell and to become more - if not more open, inviting and vocal in my efforts. But that is during work or anything that is work-related; outside of work, I never socialise with any of my colleagues. I am just socially anxious; that and I have to have time for myself  

I can become overly emotional & sensitive and I don't deal well with extreme negativity and toxicity - when it really gets out of hand and becomes too much, I just, can't put up with it any more. It eats me up inside and I get too emotional over it. I hate it when I fall out with the other person - it is just not in my nature to find myself dragged into one-to-one disagreements and personal fallouts, and when I happen to do so, I break down in a heap and thus, I am not able to cope with it at all.  

As much as I would like to socialise, because of my work schedule, which shifts and changes each week, means I rarely have time to meet new people and form acquaintances with them

I am scared of what they truly think of me, especially if I disclose secrets from my past to them- even though I don't and shouldn't care what they say and think, and so I never go out of my way and reach out for companionship. I have experienced a lot of heartache and pain, both physically, mentally and emotionally during the past when I was younger, that I feel I cannot afford to feel this way, ever again as an adult and as I get older. To discuss my past in detail would be too much. 

If and when I come on too strong, it puts people off - I noticed that I had done this twice: before on 2 separate occasions with different people and my reaction was one of disappointment and that it made me feel upset. Since then, I have avoided and tried to avoid this approach and kept a distance

As soon as you put one foot wrong, s/he goes
right ahead and tells you, 'I thought we were friends' or 'we are no longer friends', even when you didn't realise how far they'd choose to go with this - if ever anyone says this to me, I'm like ''you are overstretching things a bit here'' and ''since when did I ever said to you that you and I were friends?''. But here, they made me look stupid and made me even more depressed. I shouldn't take things to heart, but I'm sorry, with this, I feel like they have overstepped the mark. If they feel we aren't friends, then fine - but don't make it sound like we were friends, to begin with, because that is just bull

I need to learn how to become a friend... but this is far more complicated - It's far harder to achieve as an adult than as a child. I want to actually do more to make this become a reality, but the truth is, this is not going to be as easy as it seems and that it involves a lot of hard work on my part. I have to give or sacrifice a part of myself for them...which in most cases, I am and would be okay with. I am friendly, patient, caring and understanding to others, well I try to be. I don't have a lot of friends, and if I did, then perhaps this would have been of benefit and in enabling me to become and to develop into a good friend to others  

I am not a very sociable and outgoing person, and so I don't go out clubbing or things like that

I am an introvert, of whom is socially anxious, is very much intuned with my own thoughts and myself; I have struggled to make friends, although a lot of it also has to do with not knowing how to make friends with people, without coming across as demanding, desperate and clingy that has been an issue of mines. That, and I sometimes act in ways that people react negatively towards me 



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