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By Waiching
I've been at Costco for over a year and out of all the places I have worked, I feel far more settled especially in my role, than I have ever been. But over time, the experiences that I have encountered, both professionally and personally have been both positive, as well as negative; part of this can be attributed to my working relationships with my work peers. There are cliques where I work, but I am not part of any of them and choose to keep things to myself..., and quite frankly, I am happy with that: I choose not to get wrapped up in other people's business, I just do the job, get paid and go home.
Although whilst the job is challenging, it is far from boring & when I am in the right frame of mind and highly motivated, I work hard or be it to the best of my ability to deliver quality results and I am also a keen learner of whom wants to improve and get better, each step of the way.
If you work with someone or some people and get on well with them, more so than with others at work, it's understandable why you might feel more comfortable with and attached towards him/her. I mean, you spend considerable time together, you talk to each other, have a bit of a laugh -, yet some people make the mistake of confusing colleagues for friends. It is professional and noble to be friendly, civil and cordial with everyone, but that doesn't equate to becoming friends, nor does that everyone at work is your friend. It is something that took me a while to understand and realise - and now that I do, by not taking it personally and to just focus on my duties and on work, that I become more content with myself. I strike up conversations or talk to him/her because I am cordial, friendly, that I do it out of respect.
The danger is when you make it as a personal thing and people expect too much from others or a certain person as a friend in their eyes; that, or me and them become really chummy and get on so well that in my eyes I think they are a friend... when clearly they are not that you feel let down when things don't go the way you expected. By investing so much of your energy and feelings in him/her, you become wracked with guilt (when it isn't your fault) when it happens and you are allowing your personal emotions to become conflicted & afflicted, - and with that, you end up feeling upset and getting hurt in the process. Therefore, it is vital that you need to be clear and conscious about your actions and feelings, you need to be aware of and familiarising yourself with people's personality traits at work by identifying them yourself and how you deal and interact with him/her... but also knowing when to back away and keep a distance when it becomes too much, or s/he is toxic.
Not only will you not find yourself caught up in the middle of sour and difficult workplace situations, scenarios via arguments, fallouts, breakdowns in communication, but you'll avoid the unnecessary hassles, stresses and strained tensions that occur.
If s/he has disappointed you in some way or another, just let your guard down, give yourself some time to cool off, get over it, forgive them and move on. There is no point dwelling on it any further. Rather use this as an opportunity to analyse and help you know how they think, act and operate and through that, find a way to work around and with him/her, as opposed to working against them.
The main goal for pretty much everyone is to get paid and to progress further on in their careers (I mainly see pound signs flashing in my eyes as I work), with building and forging positive working relationships with their coworkers coming in second place. When I was young, I was very shy, timid and was mostly an introvert who kept things to myself... fast forward today as a 30-something, whilst I am mostly quiet, I try to find ways to come out of my shell and be more open when possible and necessary during conversations and work-related situations.
Yet I keep my personal life separate and try not to diverge too much information and I do not hang out with or socialise with my colleagues outside of work & in social gatherings that aren't company-related.
Because at the end of the day, the only person you need to look out for and to take care of, is yourself- for all this talk about 'teamwork' that is banded around, really, everyone else at work is looking out for themselves as their #1 priority, so by putting yourself and your interests first, is not selfish. Let's face it: unless you are part of a really clicky clique (i.e. sharing the same culture) that gets on like extremely well, no one at your workplace will sacrifice their paycheque for a friendship - it's the harsh truth, but it is the truth, sadly. You are contracted to your company - not your work colleagues.
I talk to and converse with around 2, 3, 4 colleagues most out of everyone else at work, - and still, I don't consider and see them as friends. The people I work with are not friends of mine, but they are interesting characters, nevertheless. Remain professional, respectful and civil, work to your best and be wary of the types of individuals you surround yourself with & the types of information and things you say to, as well as disclose and share with them. & don't ever be afraid to shut them out, if and when necessary when you feel they are a strain on your work life.
And if anyone at college, university, school tells you you make friends at work, they are liars. Hate to break this to you, but you shouldn't (ever) take their word for granted.
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